Fashion faux-pas - middle management pornography – bcc 18 only

It's thursday, the weather is disgusting outside, let's bring on some friday mood! 

Let me tell you about Miserable Middle Manager’s boss’ boss (basically the boss of my boss).

His name is Jamie La Ceinture, he is about 1m65, more or less the same height as me in fact. Middle aged, not overweight nor underweight, he has brown piggy eyes, piggy skin colour and piggy nose.  Loads of hair still - probably home styled by Madame La Ceinture, using some kind of hair clipper, for an engineered ‘army look’.

For some reason, I never got introduced to Jamie properly. I must say that the first week I joined the company, my line manager was overdosing on Xanax, which must have killed a few neurones of hers, and she forgot to make formal introductions. Who cares anyway, I’m not supposed to talk to him. Middle managers don’t speak to execs, the only interaction they are allowed to have with them is Friday at the bar, to negotiate promotions in exchange of drunken sex.

 

So the first time I really saw Jamie was at a management meeting.  

We were having presentations from the board of executives on the strategy of the company and we were in a large conference room where  I was seating at the front, below the stage.  Came Jamie’s turn to present, he appeared above me like the angel of pigs – the projectors’ light creating a hallo behind his army styled hair.

He was wearing a pink shirt and a pair of jean’s...belted tightly above his belly button! I thought about his name, surely this style was an ancient father to son tradition. From my angle, he seemed tall and a good presenter, I will give this to him, making a financial presentation interesting is hard and he was being excellent at it.

But with this look, how could he be so confident?

When I do presentations, I always wear a good luck charm; maybe he was doing this too? So I started to look for it.

Then I realised something – there was a big bump in the middle of his body, from the top of his thigh to the actual belt (towards the left). So I started to wonder what it could be? It seemed like he had a huge sock in his left pocket. Could it be that he was carrying a pair of lucky socks in his pocket? Like the socks he had been wearing on his first successful presentation or something - still dirty from the day. My mind was running wild, maybe it was a lucky scarf from his wife? Or his first ever soft toy – chucked tightly in there?

I haven’t found out what it was yet, but I ought to. He carries it every time he does important presentations.

Sometimes I wish I had Jamie La Ceinture’s tool.

Presenting is tough, I heard that sometimes it helps to imagine the crowd naked. Could it be that Brandon is using this technique and doesn’t have a magical sock?